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Sunday, 17 January 2010
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Mistakes
Here comes a lot of rambling/nonsense... ready?
I have made a lot of mistakes in life. They were probably not as serious as other peoples' mistakes, but they are mistakes nonetheless. Looking back on them, I realize what I could have done and should have done in those situations. I suppose they still sting and hurt. I suppose they were stupid. I suppose many things. I wish I could blast back to the past and fix them... then things would be different. But do I want things to be different?
*BTW, this entry isn't just about girls... for those of you who may be reading this*I have this line that I wrote for a song - "why can't spring arrive, so I can slip out of this coma... to pleasing aromas" - and I guess I spend too much time waiting, too much time thinking, too much time feeling sorry for myself, the past. I want to rewind. The thing is, I KNOW I did some stupid things and I have this crappy feeling for having done those things.
Mistakes suck. But they will be made. The thing is, I must learn from them and change...
That may mean that I ought to persevere and not give up on something, especially if it's something that I may be passionate about, OR lay back and give some space/not overthink OR be more assertive and confident in what I choose OR...
know just when to give up.
Saturday, 02 January 2010
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So Sick.
Haena knows how much I like this song - I bugged her so much about it haha.
Anyways, I guess one could say that I'm "so sick" in a number of ways: girls, school, poor attitude (whining, laziness, etc.), etc.Girls:
And I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing you were still here
Said I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow
So why can't I turn off the radio?
As the song that talks about love song says (ironic, eh?), I'm so sick... of it all. It's a large hurt to carry - to see, to hear, to be envious when other guys talk to her - and what's sad is:
It's been months
And for some reason I just
(can't get over us)
And I'm stronger than this
(enough is enough)
No more walkin round
With my head down
I'm so over being blue
Cryin over you
HOW TO CURE THIS SICKNESS IN 2010:
Freaking Ne-Yo... haha. Well, I don't know what I'm doing now. Probably being really naive. Hm. What to do, what to do. Maybe I'll keep going at what I'm doing - mindlessly (in a sense) going. Or actually stop this nonsense (although I've said this quite a freaking too many times). No more church girls, please... Yeah, I say that now... I don't know - I just feel comfortable and more like myself at church, so I guess I'm just more vulnerable to girls at church than at school. Interesting... A revelation while writing a Xanga entry.School:
I am starting to become apathetic towards the pressure my mom is putting on me about school. Honestly, I want to succeed (who doesn't?), and to succeed with flying colors. I would love to hit a GPA above a 4.0 consistently. I would love to score above 2100 on the (stupid) SATs. I would love to get into Yale or Harvard or Brown. I would love to do all these things.
HOW TO CURE THIS SICKNESS IN 2010:
The thing is, I've got to get into a rhythm. No more "resting" when I get home from school - SAT studying until dinner (?) and homework until I am FINISHED. Make good use of after school/free period. Being on-point with all of this - JUST ONE MORE SEMESTER THAT LEGITIMATELY COUNTS!Poor Attitude:
I really hate how sometimes I get "beejus" or angry or jealous or whiny or lazy or etc. Which is a reason why I, instead of whining straight-up in this entry, chose to include a "how to cure this sickness in 2010" (haha - get it? it still goes with the whole "So Sick" theme... teehee). I also dislike how some people can do that to me and others. Quite old, it gets (Yoda talk).
HOW TO CURE THIS SICKNESS IN 2010:
Well, honestly, this all starts with me. I can't exactly change all the people around me. I've got to change myself here - no more of those "emo" moments - you're not cool, Wooj; no one is going to support you in your emo-ness, so grow some and get out there. However, I do hate how we have that stereotypical mindset that guys have to be STRONG always even when we're not. Girls aren't the only ones who are contemplative, sensitive, etc. (hence, my Xanga entries - for those of you (girls mostly...) who care - btw, if you're reading this to its fullest extent, thanks!). I digress. Time to build a better me.
Side Notes:
1) I really, REALLY want to make the Virginia Upper Level Certamen team for Nationals... and win it all.
2) If I go snowboarding this year, I am determined to go down a hill smoothly/without falling.
3) Honestly, I would love to have a girlfriend... but I think it's just that I'm just intrigued and fascinated by the concept of being in a relationship? Although I think I'd be a pretty good boyfriend... not to sound conceited for anything
4) Find a beast friend who's a girl. (I honestly envy the "Ellen/Eric" friendship, despite its rough patches)
5) Find a job (and use the money to buy a nice acoustic-electric)
6) What Hobbes has (not literally, just the concept of it - happiness):
7) A solid relationship with God (perhaps that's been said over and over by others - well, too bad, because it's the truth)
Chew on this comic for a bit:
Hello, 2010.
Thursday, 10 December 2009
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Dear Santa...
Hello friends (those whom I know and I may not know - my Korean stalkers),
I have decided (for those of you who care, and are thoughtful enough to get me something out of the goodness of your hearts!
haha - no pressure to do so) to write a Christmas wish list... So here goes:- "Until the Whole World Hears" (Casting Crown's new album)
- "We Shall Not Be Shaken" (Matt Redman's new album)
- "The History of Rome: Down to the Reign of Constantine" (Roman History book by Cary & Scullard)
- Something cheesy/corny - a nice joke present to lift a person into the Christmas-y spirit (how the world sees the spirit, I mean)
- A girlfriend
- A planner for the new 2010 year.
- A really nice journal!
- MacBook Pro (har har har - in my dreams)
- Gift card with good amount to somewhere useful (preferably MORE than $5... yeah, someone gave me a $5 gift card once to Best Buy -.-)
- iTouch
- A day in which I can hang out with friends - free range, no worries - fun, fun, fun :)
- Healing (in more ways than one)
- Contentment - no more of this constant, perennial sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach
PEACE.
Wednesday, 09 December 2009
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Am I Good-Looking?
Not to sound like an arrogant guy, but seriously do I?
I'm asking because I looked at my "footprints" number - +100 views on my page this week - they're all from someone in Korea.
I mean, it's flattering to have people think I'm attractive (or interesting), but it is kind of freaky.Well, thanks for giving me something to think about Korean stalkers!
Friday, 27 November 2009
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The Difference Between Football and Life
Sometimes in life you're just going to get some bad plays, bad calls, and people who will disappoint you.
Get up, move past it, and ready up for the next play.
The difference [between football and life], of course, is this:
While football has multiple short games, life is one long game.
*Don't stop 'till the clock runs out*
***EDIT***
It's funny how people use the Internet to express their emotions and make it all so explicit [or cryptic]... the thing is, they're crying out - they feel as if they have no one else to turn to [no one will understand] - they toss it up for all to see, hoping, just HOPING that someone would heed their cry for help. Oh, how they hope. Only for it to never come. No one, especially the one who the message is meant for, pays attention. Everyone gives little crap comments like "aw man, I hope you feel better" or "aw poor baby - wah wah more?" - no one cares. So the author of the message is beaten down, hurt, and lost. Maybe the writer should have been more vocal. Maybe the writer should have been direct. Maybe the writer should suck it up and go forward. But maybe he/she can't - still FOOLISHLY clinging onto the hope that something would happen, that something would go in his/her favor.
What a fool, right?
Yeah, I know I am.
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